Welcome to The Few Good Men

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Silly Questions

QUESTIONS

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny gone to ?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours ? They're both dogs !

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someonebelieve you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when a revolver is thrown at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes,why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattressesare not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?


The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.



Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
 
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends

If any FGMers need a fourth to escape the diagnosis, you can use me, as I'm already certifiable...:confused:
 
If a ram is a sheep and an ass is a donkey. Why do they call a ram in the ass a goose?
 
Can you cry under water? YES! Only nobody will hear You!
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Maybe because earlier we lived more healthy and were stronger yet? And further we didn´t need all the "civilization" stuff for a vacation as we need today?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yes, to keep the Political Correctness!
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? I assume because movies are an earlier development as TV and got along without radio waves? TV is sent ON these waves? Movies You had to go into the movie theater in the earlier days?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because there are seldom free binoculars installed?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? To give You the feeling You would mean something to them what hasn´t to do with money!
They're going to see you naked anyway.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Because the series would be over and nobody would see it further?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Because the Haemorrhoid is an impostor and only feels like a real asteroid? And somehow one has to decide it from each other since one can´t rely on the feelings?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Bad breath? A dog smells more as a human in the end!

Why, Why, Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? To squeeze the last drop of juice from the batteries?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Insufficient funds - No chance to prove the contrary?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? To have agents for the secret services and can build a legend without contradiction?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because Johnny Weissmüller had to be as streamlined as possible in his earlier career!!! You never change bad habits. ;)
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when a revolver is thrown at him? Maybe he is short-eyed because of all the laser beaming? So bullets escape his sight? Think what a wrong done laser OP can do to Your eyes!
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Did they? I thought they wore caps.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? NO! Again no "Why" question!!!
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Because they know hunger can make You unaware. So You have to check and recheck permanetely if You didn´t overlook something until Your hunger is saturated!
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Because in our memory earlier all/it always was better!
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. "Menschen ohne Macke sind Kacke!"



Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? No!

Greetings :)
 
QUESTIONS

Can you cry under water? - Well I do but that might be because I can't swim

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?- Depends whether it's a quiet news day, and varies by the quality of the news organisation reporting it. Additionally it may be revised to (or away) from assasination due to political views, other news stories and time.

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny gone to ? - the extra penny is paid as royalties due to a major copywrite trial in the 1930's

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? - YES

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Because of inertia in the box manufacturers side after the pizza changed to a round one. Duh!!

What disease did cured ham actually have? Well, cured is a term used to cover a lack of provinence in meats - basically they are saying we think it came from a pig-type animal.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? it's wasn't a good idea.

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? Only non-parents use this term

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yes - though only in the USA

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Dunno specify who these You's are; question does not compute.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because they are STUPID

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. - They have to mentally prepare for the terrible sights to come. Their deep breathing exercises help to prevent gales of laughter or vomiting.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Wellllllll it's like nicknames based on opposites, 1 contains plural, the other contains singular.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Non-decent humans exist and spend money on toasters

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Union rules, he's an electrical engineer not a mechanical one - there would be uproar!!

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours ? They're both dogs ! Pluto has more sense

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Baby's expulsions

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Oh YES DEFINETELY

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Not quite, but weirdly they do in Ndebele!!

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't, I'm banned from singing under the "Do It Again and I'll Kill You Treaty of 1997"

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Gotta be honest just trying to figure what you were doing to get a asteroid up your ass......

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Your Breath stinks and BO is reason for car. He's been hinting for years :)

Why, Why, Why; Zed, zed, zed

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Because humans are stupid on average!!

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? They suck more of your blood that way and increase their bonuses based on hoew many customers have mental breakdowns long term.

Why does someonebelieve you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 4 billion stars aren't gonna get on their pants

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? It's to prevent unnecessary injuries to the prisoner; imagine the to-do if they survived were pardoned then died due to your failure to sterilise the needle.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because you have an inferior Tarzan - the original does :)

- cut rest - getting bored -


The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. - WEll yes it is me



Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? - Because I needed yours, how else can I infect the world with my strain of sanity otherwise -
 
Trust a bunch of wargamers to analyse curious joke questions and try to answer them. :rolleyes:

QUESTIONS
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

You've never been to Australia have you. :D
 
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