Old Alphabet:
A is for apple, and B is for boat,That used to be right, but now it won't float!Age before beauty is what we once said,But let's be a bit more realistic instead
Now the New Alphabet
A's for arthritis;B's the bad back,C's the chest pains,perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!F is for fissures and fluid retention,G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;I for incisions with scars you can show.J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,K is for knees that crack when they bend.L 's for libido, what happened to sex?M is for memory, I forget what comes next.N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!Qis for queasy, is it fatal or flu?R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!U is for urinary; troubles with flow;V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, now what's going 'round?X is for X ray, and what might be found.Yfor another year I'm left here behind,Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind
A is for apple, and B is for boat,That used to be right, but now it won't float!Age before beauty is what we once said,But let's be a bit more realistic instead
Now the New Alphabet
A's for arthritis;B's the bad back,C's the chest pains,perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!F is for fissures and fluid retention,G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;I for incisions with scars you can show.J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,K is for knees that crack when they bend.L 's for libido, what happened to sex?M is for memory, I forget what comes next.N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!Qis for queasy, is it fatal or flu?R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!U is for urinary; troubles with flow;V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, now what's going 'round?X is for X ray, and what might be found.Yfor another year I'm left here behind,Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind