mTk's Humor Strikes Again. You've Been Warned!

[HOA_KSOP]

Thinking about having a late night snack.
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Can you spell " Angioplasty"? You might wanna learn to...

 

[mTk]

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. - Mark Twain
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Condoms don't really guarantee full protection during sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one...and he got shot by the girl's boy friend.

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

Just a friendly 4th of July reminder.
Absolutely no one is going to watch the video of the fireworks you recorded on your phone.
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[HOA_KSOP]

Just a friendly 4th of July reminder.
Absolutely no one is going to watch the video of the fireworks you recorded on your phone.
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....unless you blow your hand off or start something big on fire...

 

[mTk]

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
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What happens to an illegally parked frog?
It gets toad.

 

[HOA_KSOP]

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
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What happens to an illegally parked frog?
It gets toad.

Reaching....

 

[mTk]

That's the idea.

 

[mTk]

 

[mTk]

The fastest land mammal is a toddler who's been asked what's in their mouth.

 

[mTk]

Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because Dawn is tough on Greece.

 

[HOA_KSOP]

The fastest land mammal is a toddler who's been asked what's in their mouth.

And here I thought it was a wife going to a sale-any sale...

 

[jobu88]

Dad, how much does it cost to get married?
I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

 

[HOA_KSOP]

Dad, how much does it cost to get married?
I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it...

 

[mTk]

What do you call a lost wolf?
A where wolf.
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This is ridiculous! It's July 8th and and people are still setting off fireworks!
One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire!
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At my age "friends with benefits," is someone who can drive at night.
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My grocery list is just a piece of paper that says "snacks.:

 

[Meat Grinder]

What do you call a lost wolf?
A where wolf.

 

[jobu88]

Ewoks aren't meant to be kept outdoors. They're Endor pets.

 

[mTk]

Never fight a dinosaur.
You'll just get Jurasskicked.
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Nurse: What happened to your fingers?
Me: You know those chefs who cut up vegetables really fast?
Nurse: Yes.
Me: I can't do that.

 

[mTk]

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the ban from us and told my friend,
"That's us in ten years."
He said, "That's a mirror dip shit."
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Remember when air was free and now it's $1.50?
Do you know why?
Inflation.
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Lost big at the horse races last night.
They're all so much faster than me!
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I was hooked on auctions
after only going once...going twice...

 

[mTk]

The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll.
(Think about it.))