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mTk's Humor Strikes Again. You've Been Warned!

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A friend will make you lemonade.
A true friend will put vodka in it.
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Police Officer: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never comin' round.
P.O.: TURN AROUND!
Me: Every now an-
*Gets Tased*
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A big nose isn't an excuse for not wearing a mask.
I still wear pants.
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Apparently to start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.
It's the bear minimum.
 
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Every time you make a typo...the errorists win!
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Marry a girl who says things like:
- I'm proud of you.
- I can't believe you're mine.
- You're right. I was wrong.
- You can do it, baby.
- 600 HP seems perfectly reasonable for a family car.
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In a hurricane, you can pee anywhere and no one will notice.
There are no hurricanes in Wisconsin and Walmart Security is faster than they look.
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"On the plus side I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades." - Helen Keller
 
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