I wonder if your son banged his head...If you see me jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me.
When you get shampoo in your eyes and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be.
[Kid's first day at school]
Teacher: We're concerned. Your son...he's kind of restless.
Teacher: And he keeps shouting that he's on the Highway to Hell.
Me: Oh, maybe he's got OC/DC.
Teacher: Get the f*** off of school property!
(Think about it.)